• A bit of a deep question for a Monday night, but have you ever stopped to think if you are curbing your own happiness with an emotional brick wall? In other words are you so concerned about protecting your emotions that you won't fully let anyone else in, even at the cost of your own happiness?


    So many people over the years have told me that no matter how hard they try, they feel they can't get to know me fully. I don't know where it began. I can guess at a few things that I've experienced along then way have certainly attributed to the brick wall and maybe the more I experienced I just then added a few extra 'bricks' the more I went along.


    The big question is how to deal with that...

    Write a letter to your 'fears': What are you scared of? What is the worst that can happen if you pour your heart out to a piece of paper? There is no judgement, no rejection. Just destroy the letter and nobody has to know what your inner thoughts are, but the pouring out will be so helpful.

    Talk to a trusted friend: Why do you feel the way you do? A problem shared and all that...

    Remove yourself from toxic situations: If you can remove yourself from the cause of the negativity. Is it a relationship, a work situation, a friendship? Surround yourself with caring, loving people.

    Keep a diary of you inner fears: What are your triggers? Why do you feel the way you do? Keeping a diary may help you identify times when you are most vulnerable.

    Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT): I have tried this in the past and I thought it was great for changing the way you view things and alternative ways of thinking. The only thing I would say is make sure you have dealt with any underlying causes before you embark on CBT. Talk to a Healthcare professional as to whether Counselling or CBT is the best course for you.

    Love and value yourself: I cannot stress the importance from my own point of view of thinking; ok, I am worthy of this and I deserve to be treated nicely.

    Baby steps: Try telling someone special what they mean to you. My boyfriend has a thing where he won't make a big deal of me saying my feelings (haha slushy stuff) because it 'should be normal', but I'm getting there and so will you :)


    Do you feel the same? How have you coped/dealt with? 


    Lots of love, 
    Helen xoxo