• One the whole, I love being "young", free and single, but what are the realities of being single in your 30s. Is it all Sex and the City "Singleandfabulousexclamationpoint", Carrie Bradshaw style (without the amazing wardrobe). Or is more Bridget Jones sad, lonely singleton? 

    Back in the day, I remember reading Bridget Jones thinking how awful it must be to not have found that special person and settled down. I now find myself mid-thirties and single.

    I sometimes stop for a moment to think, why am I still single at 36? Three years ago I came out of a long-term relationship and after a period of needing to get over the relationship and just needing to be free, I never quite got back into the dating place. I have found as you get a little older it's harder to meet single people.  Plus I always find first dates so awkward.

    I was pondering the pros and cons of being single in our 30s with one of my friends the other day. We concluded:



    The positive side of being single

    # You know yourself much better in your thirties and therefore more able to choose a partner that's right for you. You are also far less likely to put up with bull crap and get involved with the "wrong" person (erm, we say!).

    # Some women feel they are more confident they are emotionally and financially secure by themselves, so they are free to persue more casual relationships and not care what anybody thinks, or feel the need to be in a stable relationship.

    # You are also much more likely to be comfortable spending time alone and finding a partner isn't about fear of being alone. 

    # You get to keep your waistline. They say the average girl puts on a stone in weight when in a relationship with all that contentment and eating out together.

    # No fighting over the remote control. You can watch Coronation Street, trash TV and chick flicks to your heart's content!

    # You can concentrate on your career. Sometimes I feel I am doing it all backwards. When friends were concentrating on their careers in the 20s, I was settled down and unsure what I really wanted to do career-wise. Now I have the career sorted, just not the relationship.

    # Unfortunately in your thirties you realise that not everyone is faithful and committed to being together forever. Once you have witnessed this, it is hard not to be cynical and think everyone isn't 'at it' behind their partner's backs. Why would you want to trust someone and them break your heart.


    Then the down side...

    # The ticking biological clock. Some women feel the personal and social pressures to have babies before it's too late.

    # Then there is that added pressure/worry about staying young looking to be able to compete for a partner. 

    # A Match made in heaven or a dating mine field? Where to start when it comes to finding 'the one'. Now that everyone is coupled up, where do you go? Internet dating is a big help to all singletons out there, but how do you chose the right forum for you. I'm going to do a separate post on my experiences of online dating! 

    # Meal for One. Yes M&S your Dine in For Two is an absolute delicious bargain, but unfortunately, I usually end up throwing the other half in the bin or eating portion number 2 the next day.

    # Holidays. Trying to persuade your female friends we need a girly holiday (pleease!), just so I can have some sun. I'm not ready to try singles holidays with the over 60s yet!

    # Blogging. How much easier is it when you have someone to help you photograph #OTTD!

    # Weddings. I'm so happy for you, until the invitation arrives with the whole 'plus one'. Total reminder of my failure to find 'the one'. You don't even have to bother adding it, it will just be me, on my todd again!

    # It can get darn lonely on your own. Sometimes after a bad day, all you need is to go home and someone give you a big hug a glass of wine and have cooked you a lovely meal to make it all better. 



    I don't get too worried about the whole being single thing. At the moment I know I would find it hard to prioritise someone in my life, given the fact I only have a few months left on my course. I'm a great believer in fate though and usually the best things in life happen when you don't expect it! 

    What about you? Did you find your childhood sweetheart? Find your love in unexpected circumstances? Still looking for 'the one'? 


    Thanks for reading!
    Lots of love, Helen xoxo