• I am sure for many of us, we will go through at least one major break up during our lives. Whether it's a bad break up or a mutual decision, you will go through such a variety of emotions. You will feel everything from anger, upset, desperation, liberation, sadness, guilt, rejection, to that horrible panicky feeling when you feel that everything is out of your control.

    The hardest part of a relationship breakdown is accepting that it is finally over. Once the decision has been made, it is really important to stick to it. If there is no going back, you will need to accept this and allow yourself to grieve. Only once you start to accept it's over can you begin to move on.

    I wanted to consider some of the things to help you through the initial stages of a break up and starting to move on.

    Tell someone how you are feeling

    When you have just broken up with someone, the best thing you can do is seek the support of a trusted friend, or family member, who can listen and understand how you are feeling. You can cry and not feel judged and you won't feel alone.

    Avoid contact with your ex

    Maybe in time you will be able to be friends with your ex, but don't kid yourself that you can suddenly switch off your feelings, this will take time.

    It is important to try to resist the urge to contact your ex, unless you really have to. Especially do not send drunken texts, as all you will do is lose your own self-respect and just feel worse in the morning.

    Treat yourself 

    Whether it be chocolate, shopping or a pamper treatment, just make sure you do something nice for yourself. 

    Try to avoid anything too drastic, or something you may regret. However, for any of you who have seen the film Sliding Doors, a new hair cut can make you feel like a new person!

    The most important thing however, to do during this time is to learn to love yourself for you as an individual.

    New hobbies

    You will need to keep yourself distracted until the initial period of upset fades, but this is a great time to think long term about the goals you have wanted and haven't achieved. Think of it as being a 'new year, new start' so a new you! What have you ever wanted to do? Write it down and see how you can go about achieving it!

    Things like exercise are great, as exercise releases feel-good endorphins, so anything from walking in the park, running or joining gym will make you feel good. Maybe think about signing up to a 5K run if you are new to exercise, as all the training, motivation and achievement will be great boost to your self-esteem!

    How about something you have fancied studying, for example a language. Even starting a blog is a great to keep you interested! Anything nice to keep you occupied will make you feel good.

    Remember when you are ready, love will find you 

    Recent research shows that the fastest way you get over someone is meet someone new, but rebound relationships will rarely last. Why not wait, learn to rely on yourself, love yourself and then love will find you when the time is right.

    Thanks for reading xoxo